From the Principal’s Desk
Dear Parents,
One of the joys of parenting is seeing your children get along with each other. Right sibling relationships add so much to the peacefulness in the home, but wrong relationships disquiet that structure. Constant antagonism, bickering, whining, complaining, name-calling, and even fisticuffs create turmoil that gets old in a hurry. These ugly behaviors are works of the flesh. However, we want to train traits that align with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, and so on. With these qualities as the standard, what eventually comes out in sibling relationships is cooperation, respect, affection, and spiritual help, wonderful descriptions of Biblical friendship. This is what we should want to develop with our children in their relationships with each other. But how do you do this?
First, you must be saved. Developing biblical sibling relationships is developing peaceful relationships. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). When a person has peace with God through salvation, he can help others as well to live in peace. Second, Scripture must rule the home. The Bible says, “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1). The Lord must be in charge of the home. What that looks like is the home being governed by Scripture. The Lord does His work in the lives of our children, largely through us as parents as His instruments, even as we submit to the authority of a Bible-believing and-practicing church. Third, model right relationships with others.
In terms of leading your children in the home, require that they get along. Often parents think that a regular regimen of sibling squabbling is normal, and that you really can’t eliminate it. This is saying the same thing as you don’t have to love your neighbor as yourself. But we are required to love our neighbor, including siblings. Parents must require right relationships between their children and refuse wrong relationships. Anything short of this opens the door to regular squabbling.
Use verses to guide them. Have a band of verses you use with your children to guide their relationships. Here are some examples:
Matthew 22:39: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Philippians 2:3: Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each
esteem other better than themselves.
Galatians 5:13: By love serve one another.
Ephesians 4:29, 32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Make rules for the relationship. Have rules for how they talk to each other, how they take things from each other, and how they tease each other. Rules for Talking: require that they speak kind, polite, helpful words to each other. Do not allow name-calling, tattling, or arguing. Rules for Taking: do not allow them to snatch toys from each other or to say, “Give it!” If they “borrow” something, they must ask first; this applies to toys, clothes, or other belongings. At the same time, the other sibling must also learn to share when appropriate. Rules for Teasing: teasing should be in good fun. Do not allow them to make teasing personal or to put the sibling down. Be careful with sarcasm. Children need to learn how to tease and how to take teasing. These are some ideas that can help you develop right relationships between your children.
Sincerely,
Pastor Sutton
Dear Parents,
One of the joys of parenting is seeing your children get along with each other. Right sibling relationships add so much to the peacefulness in the home, but wrong relationships disquiet that structure. Constant antagonism, bickering, whining, complaining, name-calling, and even fisticuffs create turmoil that gets old in a hurry. These ugly behaviors are works of the flesh. However, we want to train traits that align with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, and so on. With these qualities as the standard, what eventually comes out in sibling relationships is cooperation, respect, affection, and spiritual help, wonderful descriptions of Biblical friendship. This is what we should want to develop with our children in their relationships with each other. But how do you do this?
First, you must be saved. Developing biblical sibling relationships is developing peaceful relationships. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). When a person has peace with God through salvation, he can help others as well to live in peace. Second, Scripture must rule the home. The Bible says, “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1). The Lord must be in charge of the home. What that looks like is the home being governed by Scripture. The Lord does His work in the lives of our children, largely through us as parents as His instruments, even as we submit to the authority of a Bible-believing and-practicing church. Third, model right relationships with others.
In terms of leading your children in the home, require that they get along. Often parents think that a regular regimen of sibling squabbling is normal, and that you really can’t eliminate it. This is saying the same thing as you don’t have to love your neighbor as yourself. But we are required to love our neighbor, including siblings. Parents must require right relationships between their children and refuse wrong relationships. Anything short of this opens the door to regular squabbling.
Use verses to guide them. Have a band of verses you use with your children to guide their relationships. Here are some examples:
Matthew 22:39: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Philippians 2:3: Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each
esteem other better than themselves.
Galatians 5:13: By love serve one another.
Ephesians 4:29, 32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Make rules for the relationship. Have rules for how they talk to each other, how they take things from each other, and how they tease each other. Rules for Talking: require that they speak kind, polite, helpful words to each other. Do not allow name-calling, tattling, or arguing. Rules for Taking: do not allow them to snatch toys from each other or to say, “Give it!” If they “borrow” something, they must ask first; this applies to toys, clothes, or other belongings. At the same time, the other sibling must also learn to share when appropriate. Rules for Teasing: teasing should be in good fun. Do not allow them to make teasing personal or to put the sibling down. Be careful with sarcasm. Children need to learn how to tease and how to take teasing. These are some ideas that can help you develop right relationships between your children.
Sincerely,
Pastor Sutton