From the Principal's Desk
Dear Parents,
Last week we began discussing the effects of permissive parenting. We looked at the effects this way has on parents. Today we will look at the effects on the child.
The Effects of Permissive Parenting
Effects on the Child
Hophni and Phinehas wanted their way, and Hophni and Phinehas got their way. But the way they wanted so badly led to their destruction. They died, and the text bears out that they died as unbelievers (cf. I Sam 2:12). Proverbs 29:15 teaches that a child left to himself is left to go in the way of himself. The Bible teaches that the way of man is not within himself (Jer 10:23). What is inside man are the works of the flesh: evil deeds of all types and degrees. The child left to himself goes in the way of his sinful nature, and the works of the flesh produce corruption and destruction.
A child raised under permissiveness develops all kinds of sinful patterns. Character flaws, attitude problems, moral issues, anger tendencies, submission problems, and relationship issues all entrench themselves as definitions of the child because of permissiveness. Permissiveness leaves a child immature longer because the rod is not used to drive out the foolishness (Pro 22:15). Permissiveness hampers thinking skills because the child is not made to focus on the task at hand. Permissiveness cuts into productivity because laziness prevails. Unrestrained children do not fit in to groups well, they struggle with cooperation, and they develop a sense of entitlement and even bitterness when they do not get their way. They are immature, self-centered, and rebellious.
Permissiveness sets children up to fulfill the implied consequences of the fifth commandment.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Exodus 20:12
The insidiousness of permissive parenting is that children may in time produce aspects of respectable behavior on the outside, but their hearts are firmed up in rebellion against authority on the inside. Since their wills have not been broken, they have an attitude that says “Don’t tell me what to do!” They do not listen to their parents or to other authority. This kind of child on average meets an early grave.
While this child may not have learned to say no to himself, he has learned to say no to God. Galatians 3:24 teaches us that the law acts as a stern disciplinarian to point out our sin and to turn us toward the Lord to show us our need of a Savior. When the law, in both its reproof and its rod, is not applied, children do not get the full sense of who they are and what their sin demands. They are not shown the true picture of who they are, nor do they receive a suitable consequence to their sin that would make them understand that sin deserves painful punishment—painful, eternal punishment. Their frame of mind is to rebel against all that points out the error of their way, the sinfulness of their being, and the consequence for their sin. All too many times this child rejects Jesus Christ as his Lord.
Often parents want to make the way easy for their children; they want to make them happy and comfortable; they want parenting methods that have progressed beyond the so-called old-fashioned, tired ways of the previous generations so they implement permissive parenting strategies. But telling a child yes, when he should be told no and taking away the rod, when it should be applied delivers a far harsher blow to the child than the parent anticipates, and the child suffers deeply and interminably from it. The child bears the brunt of permissiveness. Shame is the effect on the parent, but the disastrous effect of permissiveness on the child is death and destruction.
Sincerely,
Pastor Sutton
Dear Parents,
Last week we began discussing the effects of permissive parenting. We looked at the effects this way has on parents. Today we will look at the effects on the child.
The Effects of Permissive Parenting
Effects on the Child
Hophni and Phinehas wanted their way, and Hophni and Phinehas got their way. But the way they wanted so badly led to their destruction. They died, and the text bears out that they died as unbelievers (cf. I Sam 2:12). Proverbs 29:15 teaches that a child left to himself is left to go in the way of himself. The Bible teaches that the way of man is not within himself (Jer 10:23). What is inside man are the works of the flesh: evil deeds of all types and degrees. The child left to himself goes in the way of his sinful nature, and the works of the flesh produce corruption and destruction.
A child raised under permissiveness develops all kinds of sinful patterns. Character flaws, attitude problems, moral issues, anger tendencies, submission problems, and relationship issues all entrench themselves as definitions of the child because of permissiveness. Permissiveness leaves a child immature longer because the rod is not used to drive out the foolishness (Pro 22:15). Permissiveness hampers thinking skills because the child is not made to focus on the task at hand. Permissiveness cuts into productivity because laziness prevails. Unrestrained children do not fit in to groups well, they struggle with cooperation, and they develop a sense of entitlement and even bitterness when they do not get their way. They are immature, self-centered, and rebellious.
Permissiveness sets children up to fulfill the implied consequences of the fifth commandment.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Exodus 20:12
The insidiousness of permissive parenting is that children may in time produce aspects of respectable behavior on the outside, but their hearts are firmed up in rebellion against authority on the inside. Since their wills have not been broken, they have an attitude that says “Don’t tell me what to do!” They do not listen to their parents or to other authority. This kind of child on average meets an early grave.
While this child may not have learned to say no to himself, he has learned to say no to God. Galatians 3:24 teaches us that the law acts as a stern disciplinarian to point out our sin and to turn us toward the Lord to show us our need of a Savior. When the law, in both its reproof and its rod, is not applied, children do not get the full sense of who they are and what their sin demands. They are not shown the true picture of who they are, nor do they receive a suitable consequence to their sin that would make them understand that sin deserves painful punishment—painful, eternal punishment. Their frame of mind is to rebel against all that points out the error of their way, the sinfulness of their being, and the consequence for their sin. All too many times this child rejects Jesus Christ as his Lord.
Often parents want to make the way easy for their children; they want to make them happy and comfortable; they want parenting methods that have progressed beyond the so-called old-fashioned, tired ways of the previous generations so they implement permissive parenting strategies. But telling a child yes, when he should be told no and taking away the rod, when it should be applied delivers a far harsher blow to the child than the parent anticipates, and the child suffers deeply and interminably from it. The child bears the brunt of permissiveness. Shame is the effect on the parent, but the disastrous effect of permissiveness on the child is death and destruction.
Sincerely,
Pastor Sutton