From the Principal's Desk
Permissiveness vs. Parenting, part 2
A Proof of Permissive Parenting
The world has fallen prey to permissiveness in their parenting, which we can observe. But the Bible gives authoritative proof of permissiveness in parenting through the examples of several well-known characters (e.g. Isaac and Rebekah with Jacob and Esau; Manoah with Samson; and David with Absalom). Probably the clearest and saddest commentary on permissive parenting in the Bible is seen with Eli, judge and high priest of Israel. His sons, Hophni and Phinehas committed abominable works as the priests of God. They lay with the women assembling at the tabernacle door for worship, and they made vile the offerings of the people of God (I Sam 2, 3). Eli heard of these atrocities. Yet with all the authority he had in the nation, the Bible records that he restrained them not (I Sam 3:13).
What is interesting about this phrase is that restrained them not does not mean that he said nothing to them. He did speak to them, calling their sin evil (cf. I Sam 2:22-25). It is that Eli did nothing about their sin. The words restrained not have the idea of “to grow weak.” Eli could have used his authority as their father and as the chief spiritual leader in Israel to restrain his sons, but Eli was weak in dealing with them. He failed to use his God-given authority to deliver a severe consequence that would deter his sons from continuing to commit their sin. They did not listen to his words, so he gave in to them. They walked all over Eli, but he let it happen.
How often does permissiveness take the same form today! Children disobey, and parents try to reason. Children throw a tantrum, and parents try to console. Children demand their way, and parents capitulate. All parents need to do is use the biblical authority God has given them to make their children mind. Unfortunately, parents feel handcuffed in our permissive society to act authoritatively toward their children. What is worse is that many parents have handcuffed themselves in dealing with their children. They simply allow bad behavior.
One wonders how the adult sons of Eli grew brazen enough to commit such acts. The text implies that Eli was weak in his parenting when his sons were little; thus, his voice sounded empty to them when they were old. Lack of follow through with young children produces greater disrespect in older children. Permissive parenting results in increasingly worse behavior.
I Samuel 2-3 provide a proof text of the reality of permissive parenting as well as give a definite description of permissive parenting. Again, permissive parenting takes place when we allow our children to go in their natural sinful, selfish direction without giving them a biblical consequence for their actions. Our children’s characteristic misbehavior behavior becomes our fault if we fail to consistently and biblically correct it.
Permissiveness vs. Parenting, part 2
A Proof of Permissive Parenting
The world has fallen prey to permissiveness in their parenting, which we can observe. But the Bible gives authoritative proof of permissiveness in parenting through the examples of several well-known characters (e.g. Isaac and Rebekah with Jacob and Esau; Manoah with Samson; and David with Absalom). Probably the clearest and saddest commentary on permissive parenting in the Bible is seen with Eli, judge and high priest of Israel. His sons, Hophni and Phinehas committed abominable works as the priests of God. They lay with the women assembling at the tabernacle door for worship, and they made vile the offerings of the people of God (I Sam 2, 3). Eli heard of these atrocities. Yet with all the authority he had in the nation, the Bible records that he restrained them not (I Sam 3:13).
What is interesting about this phrase is that restrained them not does not mean that he said nothing to them. He did speak to them, calling their sin evil (cf. I Sam 2:22-25). It is that Eli did nothing about their sin. The words restrained not have the idea of “to grow weak.” Eli could have used his authority as their father and as the chief spiritual leader in Israel to restrain his sons, but Eli was weak in dealing with them. He failed to use his God-given authority to deliver a severe consequence that would deter his sons from continuing to commit their sin. They did not listen to his words, so he gave in to them. They walked all over Eli, but he let it happen.
How often does permissiveness take the same form today! Children disobey, and parents try to reason. Children throw a tantrum, and parents try to console. Children demand their way, and parents capitulate. All parents need to do is use the biblical authority God has given them to make their children mind. Unfortunately, parents feel handcuffed in our permissive society to act authoritatively toward their children. What is worse is that many parents have handcuffed themselves in dealing with their children. They simply allow bad behavior.
One wonders how the adult sons of Eli grew brazen enough to commit such acts. The text implies that Eli was weak in his parenting when his sons were little; thus, his voice sounded empty to them when they were old. Lack of follow through with young children produces greater disrespect in older children. Permissive parenting results in increasingly worse behavior.
I Samuel 2-3 provide a proof text of the reality of permissive parenting as well as give a definite description of permissive parenting. Again, permissive parenting takes place when we allow our children to go in their natural sinful, selfish direction without giving them a biblical consequence for their actions. Our children’s characteristic misbehavior behavior becomes our fault if we fail to consistently and biblically correct it.