From the Principal
Dear Parents,
Today is the final article on the topic of permissiveness vs. parenting. I hope the articles have been a help. If you would like to talk further about any of these topics, let me know.
Pastor Sutton
The Changes away from Permissive Parenting
We have seen from history that permissive parenting has entrenched itself in American culture for several generations. This unbiblical style of parenting has ruined countless young people over the years. And sadly, this philosophy of parenting has also influenced Christian parents. Dads have become lax and moms have become overprotective. In many cases we have replaced parenting with coddling. If little Johnny gets in trouble, we excuse him. If he whines and complains, we pamper him. If little Suzie sheds a tear, we curtail punishment. We do not expect diligent labor, require responsibility, or demand excellence. We have replaced biblical punishment with time-outs, constant scolding, and taking away privileges. We give our children what they want, essentially to bribe them; and we try to keep them happy, thinking that a “positive” environment produces desired behavior. We have become permissive.
What has gone wrong? We have taken our eyes off of Scripture and placed them on the philosophy of the world. Paul warned of this in Colossians 2:8:
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
As a nation we have rejected God’s Word as divine authority, opting for man’s word to guide us. But when we turn away from the light of Scripture, we walk into further darkness. Romans 1 goes on to say, “professing themselves to be wise, they became fools” (Rom 1:22). The consequence regarding parenting: a twisted view on how to raise children.
What has to change? First, the Bible must emerge as the authority in our lives. When we submit to God’ Word, it becomes a lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path. We must let Scripture guide us. Paul wrote the Thessalonians these words:
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.
I Thessalonians 5:21-22.
Everything must be evaluated in the light of Scripture. If a method or way of thinking is good, that is, it aligns with Scripture, then we hold tightly to it. If it fails the test of Scripture, then it is evil; and we must stay away from it. Evil comes in many deceptive forms, so we must discern each one and abstain appropriately. When the Bible is the authority in our lives, it will be the authority in our parenting. We must look to the Bible for wisdom in parenting and be careful not to mix worldly, fleshly thinking with the teachings of Scripture.
Second, the gospel must be preached. The reason the world slides away from Biblical precepts in parenting is because their feet are not firmly set on the Rock, Jesus Christ (cf. Ps 40:2): they lack salvation. Furthermore, as unbelievers they have an inability to understand and practice what the Bible says because their nature is sinful. If that is to change, then they must receive the gospel; for the gospel is the power of God unto salvation (Rom. 1:16). But as Paul said, “How shall they hear without a preacher” (Rom 10:14)? The gospel must be preached.
Apostasy takes place, in part, because children are not brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Perhaps the biggest influence against Biblical child-training in our day is permissiveness. To honor God and to combat apostasy, let us evaluate our parenting practices, separate from any worldly thinking or methods, and make the Bible our sole authority for faith and practice. With this in mind, instead of succumbing to permissiveness, let us submit to parenting.
Dear Parents,
Today is the final article on the topic of permissiveness vs. parenting. I hope the articles have been a help. If you would like to talk further about any of these topics, let me know.
Pastor Sutton
The Changes away from Permissive Parenting
We have seen from history that permissive parenting has entrenched itself in American culture for several generations. This unbiblical style of parenting has ruined countless young people over the years. And sadly, this philosophy of parenting has also influenced Christian parents. Dads have become lax and moms have become overprotective. In many cases we have replaced parenting with coddling. If little Johnny gets in trouble, we excuse him. If he whines and complains, we pamper him. If little Suzie sheds a tear, we curtail punishment. We do not expect diligent labor, require responsibility, or demand excellence. We have replaced biblical punishment with time-outs, constant scolding, and taking away privileges. We give our children what they want, essentially to bribe them; and we try to keep them happy, thinking that a “positive” environment produces desired behavior. We have become permissive.
What has gone wrong? We have taken our eyes off of Scripture and placed them on the philosophy of the world. Paul warned of this in Colossians 2:8:
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
As a nation we have rejected God’s Word as divine authority, opting for man’s word to guide us. But when we turn away from the light of Scripture, we walk into further darkness. Romans 1 goes on to say, “professing themselves to be wise, they became fools” (Rom 1:22). The consequence regarding parenting: a twisted view on how to raise children.
What has to change? First, the Bible must emerge as the authority in our lives. When we submit to God’ Word, it becomes a lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path. We must let Scripture guide us. Paul wrote the Thessalonians these words:
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.
I Thessalonians 5:21-22.
Everything must be evaluated in the light of Scripture. If a method or way of thinking is good, that is, it aligns with Scripture, then we hold tightly to it. If it fails the test of Scripture, then it is evil; and we must stay away from it. Evil comes in many deceptive forms, so we must discern each one and abstain appropriately. When the Bible is the authority in our lives, it will be the authority in our parenting. We must look to the Bible for wisdom in parenting and be careful not to mix worldly, fleshly thinking with the teachings of Scripture.
Second, the gospel must be preached. The reason the world slides away from Biblical precepts in parenting is because their feet are not firmly set on the Rock, Jesus Christ (cf. Ps 40:2): they lack salvation. Furthermore, as unbelievers they have an inability to understand and practice what the Bible says because their nature is sinful. If that is to change, then they must receive the gospel; for the gospel is the power of God unto salvation (Rom. 1:16). But as Paul said, “How shall they hear without a preacher” (Rom 10:14)? The gospel must be preached.
Apostasy takes place, in part, because children are not brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Perhaps the biggest influence against Biblical child-training in our day is permissiveness. To honor God and to combat apostasy, let us evaluate our parenting practices, separate from any worldly thinking or methods, and make the Bible our sole authority for faith and practice. With this in mind, instead of succumbing to permissiveness, let us submit to parenting.